I want to fly like an eagle.....

Steve Miller's popular song during the late seventies.  The time in my life I was ready to soar into the future.  The time I was making decisions of what I wanted to do in my life.  Yes, I wanted to fly and not in the sense of getting high.  I always wanted to succeed on my own......like the bird who takes flight from the nest.  I have been inspired by so many.  I want to spend January blogging and sharing the many inspirational Artists, friends, songwriters, musicians, writers who have inspired me on my journey.  February I want to actually carry out my dream of being Esther Howland.  I, like a bird, have already began my journey.  I started gathering all the supplies I am ready to make as many greeting cards in the month of February and have enough to share with others who would like to take some time to make some cards, also.
In the hustle and bustle of the holiday rush of working in a department store, I passed by these boxes.  I saw they what they were up close and the price was right.  What will I fill them with?  Well, all the supplies I need for cardmaking are filling up these boxes rather quickly.  Gathering......like a bird building a nest.

 The artist who made this box is Kelly Rae Roberts.  I am very familiar with her and her book called "Taking Flight"  I have read and lent out her book.  When I read the box, the words could not be more fitting for me.  By sharing this I hope these words speak volumes to you also as we approach the new year!!!  To learn more about her and her Art press here

 The box reads:   Dream
My wish for you is that you feel the full breath of possibility.  That you feel your fears and act anyway. That you listen to what's calling you.  That you find the sacred in the ordinary.  And that love and kindness embrace your heart always.

Happy New Year!  Bring on 2015!  My word for 2015 is FLY!  My word for 2014 was kick....and I am ready to kick it goodbye!!!!!

It all started with a greeting card......

Thirty-seven years ago I met Glen Gray.  I was eighteen.  We met....he liked me....I liked him.  He called me and asked me to go out with him and a group of friends for New Year's Eve to celebrate the year 1978.  He left for Florida to spend Christmas with his sister and brother with his father.  He had lost his mom in 1976.  I received a Greeting Card with a handwritten letter.  I knew I had met someone very special.
So much has happened and changed in thirty-seven years as far as communicating and how we meet people.  If I was my children's age would this have happened or would we have been texting back and forth.  Would I have that to share now so many years later? I made a copy of this letter and gave it to my nephew this year because a lot of it was about him and his birth.
Today I sit writing this instead of addressing Christmas cards to my family and  friends.  Why?  I think it is because of facebook.  I can share sentiments, feelings, thoughts, pictures all with a press of button and not just reach one person, but 500 people at the same time and see a reaction instantly.  It is amazing.  I usually send photo cards and several times looked through our pictures to pick one and I have shared them on facebook already, so why should I send them?  I love to get photo cards and the go on my fridge and stay there for the rest of the year.  The last few years my days are so full I save all my cards to open on Christmas day.  This year....is just so different.  Hopefully on Monday on my day off I will take some time and fill out some cards to send.....but, if I don't.....it's ok.  Or is it?
I own a greeting card store after all.  But, this year has been different.  I didn't buy any cards for the store this year. I had the intention to, but we really didn't make that much money as we hoped this summer to put in any orders.  My inventory was all ruined last year after a water main break from a frozen pipe last January.
So looking to the year 2015 I am looking to the future and wondering what to do to infuse some new life into my heart and my business.  So, instead of taking my vacations to rest and get inspired.  I am taking my time off from work to put my heart and soul back into my business.  I have had several goals since starting my business and it has been one step up and two steps back for the last five years of being in business.  I still need to keep my job, but in order for my business to grow it needs my attention.  So, I am starting to set realistic goals and I may need some help.  I want to start a campaign of the IMPORTANCE of greeting cards.  I truly feel they are the best form of expression and art that every person can use to share their feelings.  I remember when I went to college I didn't have two pennies to rub together.  I spent a lot of time finding cards to send Glen, friends and family.  As I got more into college my funds ran dryer and dryer, but that didn't stop me.  I would make my own cards and send them to Glen.
So, I still am making my own cards, but this year I am looking forward to figuring out a way to order greeting cards from different companies again and infuse some life into the greeting card part of our business.  I am going to start by taking the week off before Valentine's day and actually fulfill a dream and be the Esther Howland I want to be.  I am looking forward to 2015 and  I am ready to do the cha-cha of life!

I BELIEVE in yesterday

 I believe in yesterday....

 Spent time at the store yesterday and was treated to  the Christmas Tree lighting....

Watched CBS Sunday morning  show and the story of Pietown.....

 Found one of my old purchases and enjoyed the picture on the cover.....when I opened it.....it is filled with a surprise......

it is a child's wish during the old days of old days when most gifts were made by her mother......

 and was told the story of Bethlehem......

 in the spirit of that little book and the story of Pietown (you can only buy a pie in pietown)

our snowglobes are available only at our store in Convention Hall in Asbury Park.....we only have these available.....sorry no holds, special orders or shipping.

Have you any dreams you'd like to share

 After the Fleetwood Mac concert I felt the need to make a dream catcher......

 My first walk on the beach after the concert I collected some feathers, driftwood and shells.....Kaylyn bought me the guitar pic neckace after the concert as a souvenir.....I found some beads and spelt out gypsy....the bird tag was from a shirt I bought in the beginning of the summer and couldn't throw the tag away......

I bought the crocheted doily at Michaels for $1 and an embroidery hoop for $1.49......it was fun to make and I look forward to adding more to it as I find different items......

Help!!!! I want to be Esther Howland

When I went back to college at the age of 28 I went back to make myself a better person.  I was lucky enough to major in Art.  Through majoring in Art I was able to  explore my life and meaning through creativity.  I was trying to get pregnant at the time and it was my savior.  It let me learn how I had a yearning that was deep inside and needed to be nurtured.  I worked two part time jobs and graduated.  Continued working those jobs and had surgery, we traveled cross country several times that year and finally were able to have a family with Ian and Kaylyn joining our family the next year.

I became passionate for paper at the same time. I was working at Crabtree & Evelyn in Spring Lake at the time.  I loved the owner who has since died. She was my mentor.  She had a family and was able to combine the two.  Under the counter she left books and magazines.  I devoured them.  They were positive, inspiring, beautiful and very influential in  what I still love today.  The magazines were Victoria and Martha Stewart.  The books were Alexandra Steward's Living a Beautiful Life.  I fell in love with old victorian design in Valentines, scrapbooks,  advertising and greeting cards.  

  I started collecting victorian scrap about this time.  I had to collect something.....it was and is my nature.  My dad collected rocks and later became consumed by them.  I know, again this was my nature, but never wanted to be consumed by it.  Glen encouraged my love for this when I was a young mother and two of these instances I remember with great fondness.  Once when we went to New Hope together with the twins in their car seats he saw a sign for a shop.  He dropped me off and rode around while I walked into a dream come true for me.  It was a whole store full of just Victorian Scrap.  I had $20 cash and was only able to buy a few pieces.  I was told they just sold their entire collection to John Grossman and I was lucky because they were to close the next month.  The other time was an entire collection of Victorian reproduction papers were up for Auction at Allaire Airport.  It was Judith Winslow's  Papers, a company I was very familiar with.  Back then I would collect catalogues of product of what I would carry in a store, if I ever opened one.  It was the week before Mother's Day and Glen gave me $60 to spend on whatever I wanted.  I ended up buying boxes of papers, that I still sell today.  

 So, now I have a store in Asbury Park.  I work full time commuting to Woodbridge.  I bought the above picture at a flea market in Woodbridge.  It was a picture from Victorian times and etched is the photographer's name and location in Asbury Park.  I try to spend my time as much as possible making cards for the shop.  I have a vision of what I want, again.  But, again time, money and most of all doubt are stopping me.  It is a romance I have with the past that haunts me, but still influences me day by day.  It is the dream of the American spirit.  It is a dream not be Esther Howland, but a modern day version of her.  The dream of making a living  by doing what you love.  You either work for someone else and get a paycheck each week.  This is practical, realistic and probable.  Or you take that Leap of Faith and hope you can make a go of it.  Right now, it is best for me to do both.  I am looking forward  to next year, where I feel I still can combine my job and my shop to feed a  yearning to have my cake and eat it too.  Do you want to know who Esther Howland is? You can read about her by clicking here.

The calling cards pictured above I purchased at a flea market at Barnes Art Foundation in Woodbridge.  One day I went to work an hour early just to ride through and see what Barnes Art Foundation looked like.  They had a flea market that day.  I was looking for and bought a few records  I saw a sandwich bag of calling cards and asked how much.  He told me $2 and I said for each one and he said no the whole bag!!!!  They are pictured with a project I had made at Creative Escape.  It is a business card holder and I thought it was perfect to hold my calling cards.

Better Days Are Coming!

When I bought this CD after my twins were born, it was a rebirth for me personally.  I had been married for nine years.  Was working very hard.  Owned a house which we rented out and then rented one we could live in.  Sounds a little weird but,  we worked really hard to get pregnant.  Getting very personal here, but it was quite the journey, and I was  put through the ringer.  I had surgery and was on some pretty heavy duty fertility drugs.......for years.  When I did get pregnant it was with twins which was joyful but, a lot of pressure to make everything perfect for them.  My pregnancy was actually not so bad.  But, I don't think anyone really knew how worried I was.  I at the same time was very assured that we were going to have perfect boy and girl twins and all would be well.
By this time nothing musically was setting my heart on fire, either.  So, when I was in the car driving the twins around this was the CD of choice for me.  Glen and I were pretty funny with the twins also as instead of holding their arms and not doing "so big", we grabbed their arms and said "we will rock you".  We would play that song by Queen a lot and have them sit on our laps and rock their little arms. They would smile and giggle....such great memories.
Ian and Kaylyn were always the entertainers for us.  We were happy to all sit down for dinner at home every night and let the show begin.  We always shared good conversation and most meals ended with Kaylyn and Ian leaving the table and going to the kitchen and whispering back and forth.  They would come to the entry to the dining room and the show would begin.  One would do the introduction and they would sing, dance or tell a joke.  It was the best!!!!
So, one day I came home from work and Ian, had pulled out the CD "Better Days".  He looked at me and said:  " Mom this is good stuff...why don't you ever listen to it?".  I wanted to blurt out "I listened to lullabies, cartoons, disney movies FOR YOU that's why"  But, I didn't I just stood there amazed and said: " it is good stuff....I am REALLY glad you like it!"  Years went by and we would listen to the NOW cds which seemed to make everyone in the car happy.
Fast forward to life in 2014.....well yesterday.  I am totally exhausted.  Working six days in a row, but knowing I get to go to Chicago for four days with my daughter and go see Ian perform with The Toasters.  Yesterday I had a waitressing dream and I haven't waitressed in 30 years.  I wake up early and tired flip open the computer to see it is going to rain all day today and tomorrow.  My back is killing me and every joint in my body hurts because of the rain.  The dog is whining to go out.  I put my feet on the ground and they are swollen and sore.  Oh my God, my head is light.  I rush to get out the door, not bringing my lunch for the first time in five days, but knowing I need to leave early because the commute is always worse in the rain.  I get to the parkway and well......they don't call it the "Garden State Parking Lot" for nothing.  I pay the first toll and I know it is going to be a good day.  A bad day is when I realize I just paid $1.50 for a 50 cent toll.
I start thinking about how relaxed Glen looked after spending a few day in Florida to see my son.  I think it is ok.....I will be in Chicago in a few days and that should be fun.  I think about all the great vibes we have with our business Greetings from Geralyn.  I think about what a busy and crazy day it was the day before and it would be just a day to get our departments back in shape. And then, it happens  music karma!!!!  One song after another telling me everything is going to get better.  I actually am sitting in traffic in the driving rain and decide to take a little video so I am sure to remember this.  I feel music can get me out of any funk I am in.  I mean really listen to the words to this song!!!!  Steve Van Zandt is one of the best songwriters!!!!!!   Remember it is pouring rain as I am listening to this:

I had the craziest dream last night
There was thunder and lightning everywhere
Hell hounds reached up and ripped a hole in the sky
Pissed in the water and spit black smoke up in the air

Demons were chasin' me all tattooed
In dollar signs, suits and ties
They wanted me to party
I woke up just in time, I heard somebody say

Better days are comin'
We're gonna wake up and break this curse
Better days are on the way 'cause you know and I know
It can't get no worse

Sometimes the dream seems so real
Comes to me over and over again
Last night I swear I saw America sleepin' in the streets
When does this nightmare end?

I got to find my baby
Maybe I'll find salvation in her kiss
Tell me I'm dreamin', it's got to get better than this
I want somebody to say

Better days are comin'
We're gonna wake up and break this curse
Better days are on the way 'cause you know and I know
It can't get no worse, no

I believe I see a train comin' baby
I know it's time to take a ride
Shattered dreams and broken promises
We gotta leave 'em all behind
'Cause you know

We're gonna catch that train, baby
We're gonna catch that train, baby
We're gonna catch that train
I know we're gonna catch that train
I know we're gonna catch that train
Whoa yeah

Better days are comin'
We're gonna wake up and break this curse
Better days are on the way 'cause you know and I know
It can't get no worse
It can't get no worse

Better days are comin'

Read more: Southside Johnny And The Asbury Jukes - Better Days Lyrics | MetroLyrics 


I heard this and then "I am a Patriot" and then "Mr Grey".  I had never heard the song "Mr Grey before and found that song really amusing....quite the little story with a horrible ending but, very entertaining.  
Well, I got through this very tough week with a little help from my friends(MY MUSIC).  Getting on board that train to do it all again in the Land of Hope and Dreams..........this train, baby!!!!

Turning 55 Reflections

My gift was tickets to see Fleetwood Mac at Madison Square Garden with my husband, daughter and son.

So, listening to music from when you turned 18, sharing the moment with your family could be one of the best feelings ever.  Do you ever think of when you were young and wondered what you would be like when you are old?  I would wonder if I would be like my mother.  I wondered if I would be in pain.  I wondered if I would be restless or settled.  I wondered where I would be living.  Well, most of all I wondered if there really were happily ever afters to the fairy tales.  I wondered if I would have a family.  Would I be fat or skinny, wrinkled and gray?
When I turned 18 I was also old enough to drink.  This brought a certain amount of freedom.  I didn't take the college path right after high school.  I worked in a restaurant and was able to buy my own car.  My girlfriends and I would love to go to the local bars and listen to the local bands.  We knew we were listening to talented musicians and we danced almost every night of the week to a different band.  Bands like Courteous Drivers, Bystander, Fresh, Holme and Cats on a Smooth Surface.  Most of these bands ended the night with the Lynyrd Sknyrd song "Freebird".  When I met Glen we continued on dancing and ending almost every night dancing to "Freebird".   Four years later we were engaged.  I remember the first time we danced to "Freebird" as an engaged couple.  My thoughts were not the same......my mind was racing with  thoughts  of marriage and would I still really be free or "tied down" or trapped.  I was young but, I was giving it a lot of thought.  So, onward we sailed and I have to say after 32 years of marriage I feel better then I ever imagined.  I even look at pictures from ten years ago and feel I look and feel  better then ten years ago .  WOW!  What a great feeling.  So, this birthday most of all  I want to  thank my husband for still making me feel like a "freebird".......the best feeling in the world!